Should religious leadership ask us to vote for political action?

Many years ago, I worked with WCNC-TV to cover Rev. Billy Graham and his final crusades in both Kansas City and New York City. During this time I spent a lot of time thinking about the intersection of religion and politics. These trips and years of telling Rev. Billy Graham’s story prompted me to explore a recent statement released by Rev. Graham and BGEA.

In a USA Today article published today:

“At 93, I never thought we would have to debate the definition of marriage,” Billy Graham’s statement said. “The Bible is clear — God’s definition of marriage is between a man and a woman. I want to urge my fellow North Carolinians to vote for the marriage amendment” Tuesday.

William Martin, who wrote the authorized Graham biography A Prophet With Honor, couldn’t recall another effort by the Billy Graham Evangelistic Association like the one the ministry plans in support of Amendment One.

“I am somewhat surprised that he would take that strong a stand,” said Martin, professor emeritus of religion and public policy at Rice University. “In the past, I have heard him say with respect to homosexuality, there are greater sins. Franklin has been more outspoken about it, but it sounds as if this is Mr. Graham expressing his own will.”

On the ballot is a proposed measure that would amend Article 14 of the North Carolina Constitution by adding a new section:

Sec. 6. Marriage.
Marriage between one man and one woman is the only domestic legal union that shall be valid or recognized in this State. This section does not prohibit a private party from entering into contracts with another private party; nor does this section prohibit courts from adjudicating the rights of private parties pursuant to such contracts.

As we navigate this climate of women’s health issues, gay rights, and all the other emerging conversations in this political climate…I have some questions. Now these questions are meant to think and explore, not to divide us. As a spiritual man who has greatly had his faith challenged over the last five years…here is what I ask:

1) How does the gay rights debate find place in our religious spectrum and should it carry over into our political spectrum as a nation of religious freedom. Specifically, when do you feel “the church” has a place to publicly take a political leadership position or should “the church” stand back be a constant for “it’s flock”?

I am consistently wondering why churches and church leaders take political roles in public discourse especially when it surrounds issues that can created or even divide a community even further. We are so bombarded with religious do’s and don’ts from one church to the next especially when it is hard to bring context to a biblical message. Our ministers hold tremendous burdens of leadership.

2) As it relates to gay rights, specifically in North Carolina. Does Rev. Billy Graham have a place in the political spectrum to ask a constituency base to vote for or against a political measure? I am undecided ethically how I feel about religious leadership guiding us in these political debates.

3) So I ask pastors and ministers at-large: would you ever allow membership into your church a gay couple with children? Now you might ask why a couple may chose your church or even this belief system and might not be equally yolked, but what if they came to your church for the benefit of “their” child. Would you minister to them and if so, would you marginalize their commitment to each other and minister to them the same way a heterosexual couple next to them.

4) I also ask pastors and ministers at-large: Would you minister last prayer and spiritual guidance to person who is admittedly gay as they lay on their death bed, next to them their partner of many years and family. Health care and gay rights has become a huge problem when it comes to navigating last rights. Many feel lost in the system yet have been supported by their partner.


the pink ribbon doesn’t seem so pink now…

When I think of pink…I think of the color for little girls, young ladies, my little daughter Rose. Pink is that color that usually starts from the first day a little girl comes home from the hospital after she is born. So many front doors and mailboxes are decorated with the color pink, to signify and notify the world that a little girl was born.

Pink is what I associate to the youth of a young girl…and now it is slowly loosing it’s appeal. We are in-undated with the color pink…all around us. From girls clothes, bedroom decorations, anything that can be associated with femininity…it is all around us. We are also surrounded by the pink ribbons.

For the last 5 to 10 years, pink ribbons have become the symbol surrounding the “Fight Against Breast Cancer.” It is still a fight…but I am not sure if he color pink and that ribbon includes a fight against breast cancer anymore. It has become a symbol of “fight” and fight we have taken part in daily.

Let me qualify here and be transparent…I am for the fight against breast cancer. I am for prevention, raising awareness, and early detection. I am also for the voice of those who have lost or loosing their battles against breast cancer. I also support those families who become the residual aftermath of this fight…those who have lost loved ones. My wife and our family are a part of that residual aftermath, her mother died of breast cancer in 2007.

Pink and pink ribbons are not something many women choose anymore…pink and pink ribbons are reminders of the face of breast cancer and the loved ones they lost. Pink and ribbons are not predominately found in a house where my little six month girl lives. Her mother cringes at the color pink, pink ribbons, and what they stand for…the established money making practice of large organizations like to Komen to benefit financially from the fruitful giving of those who think they are helping to find a cure.

Pink and Pink Ribbons…what has happend to the youth and innocence of that color. Lately it has been scorned in international controversy surrounding the funding of Planned Parenthood by Komen. This political statement meant to take part in the political process of electing a President turned into controversy…exposing the “true colors” of what has become of Komen.

Komen began as a wonderful organization…one to tackle this horrible disease while honoring the passing of a sister during her fight. Now…Komen has tried over and over to trademark the Pink Ribbon and control the brand surrounding pink merchandising and cause marketing as revenue streams. Pink and the Pink Ribbon are to me…no longer a symbol of youth and young ladies.

Every-time I go to a store, I think twice before I purchase anything that has a pink ribbon.  Whether it is just a pink ribbon on a little dress or a piece of merchandise that surrounds the Pink Ribbon initiative. There is so much controversy, so much lose, so much pain, so much national attention that has stripped what was purely pink in the pink ribbons…truly setting back the fight against breast cancer for years.

This controversy has been going on for years with the “Think Before You Pink” campaign, raising awareness for the common public to thoroughly think before we buy something pink. Where are the funds going when we purchase something with these pink ribbons…in someone’s pocket or to a cure?

How has this conversation gotten to this point…the point where we are now actually thinking before we buy anything pink. We are no longer associating pink and pink ribbons with the youth of the young ladies in our lives. We no longer have a natural pre-disposition of Komen’s original cause, but the controversy that surrounds those little pink ribbons.

Charlotte Haley created the first ribbons when raising awareness and funds to fight breast cancer…and she chose not to allow Estee Lauder to use this ribbon as a money making initiative. I wish Charlotte’s intentions would have kept us from allowing the Pink Ribbon to become what is today…to me, it is loosing it’s pure symbol.

It is time to take the Pink Ribbon out of the breast cancer conversation and focus on the real story…raising money to actually fight breast cancer. Not to fill the pockets of those who want to capitalize on this fight. Breast cancer is already an ugly thing…let’s not make it worse than it really is, a disease that touches 1 in 8 women in North America.


birthday fun…i am my age…Facebook birthday’s rock!

Yes…I am 38 and I do feel it! Yesterday was my birthday and for the first time in years…it felt relatively normal and drama free. I was definitely feeling my age with a little senior moment.

I was driving from Clemson back to Anderson to meet family and friends for a little birthday celebration at Papa’s & Beer. We have found a new little hangout and they make great Carne Asada! On the way back, I realized I did not have my sunglasses…I have this problem with just setting something down and forgetting about it. It get honest from my mother.

So I turned around and headed back to Clemson to look through all the classrooms I was in yesterday. I teach one class, but this day I sat in a few different classrooms to work while waiting to teach. I also split my class into two different rooms, so there was no telling where I set down my new sunglasses.

Side note…I have just bought these new sunglasses after punishing myself for two years after loosing a pair of $200 Ray-bans.  These were not quite that expensive, but some nice Oakley’s. So, if I lost these…Sarah would be making fun of me forever! She would also be giving me up the road for loosing another pair of expensive sunglasses…rightfully so.

So, I pulled back into Clemson and luckily found a parking space. You have fight for a space near Daniel Hall where I teach. I walked from classroom to classroom, interrupting the classes in progress to scavenge around looking for my prized possession…my symbol of fading youth.

Each room I searched, each room I looked, each floor I climbed, each class I interrupted….No Luck. So I tucked my tail between my legs and began crafting my story for Sarah. I was on the phone with her when I had to turn around…she knows why! I dropped the “F” bomb when I realized I had to turn around…she will be asking when I arrive for dinner.

So I get back in the car and began backing out. As I looked in the rear view mirror to see behind me, I noticed I accidentally bumped the mirror the last time I was in the car. I probably did it during my temporary insane moment called a temper tantrum. I wonder if people were watching? Anyways…as I fixed the mirror, I saw my reflection and noticed the sunglasses on my head. YES!!!! ON MY HEAD!

No wonder the students were snickering. Jerks…someone could have said something when I was rudely interrupting their classes…how rude of them! LOL.

As I walked into Papa’s & Beer…I shared my senior moment and enjoyed the local culture singing their spanish version of Happy Birthday and smearing ice-cream all over my face! ***Picture Above

It was a great one…but what topped the day off, well it was more that all the cool gifts. It was more than the phone calls with birthday wishes, the tasty birthday cake Sarah made, and even the great day…it was Facebook. Yes…

I forgot how fun birthday’s are when you are connected to great people on Facebook. I received so many nice notes, great comments, and got to hear from people I have not talked to in so long.

This one really stood out to me…I have not talked to Craig in so long. He and I were fraternity brothers and I am not sure the last time I have even chatted with him. But I was glad to see him reach out and say hello!


The ladies…

The ladies... by bobbyrettew
The ladies…, a photo by bobbyrettew on Flickr.


Why is the “Bible” so fundamental in our beliefs?

Why…why is this one text so fundamental in our belief system. For so many Christians and believers…they Bible is a guide, a path, a spiritual rule to find a richer relationship with a belief system. For so long, it was the only path I knew…especially growing up in a southern town inside a southern Baptist church. From the earliest days…we were taught Bible stories. These stories were the fundamentals in our daily lives…morals that we based all our decisions by each day.

Growing up at First Baptist Church in Clemson, SC…the Bible was a part of the weekly ritual. It was a guide…it was the Big “T” Truth. I was even asked to be the youth pastor as a senior in high school, the one who would actually preach a sermon in front on the church, representing the values of the youth of First Baptist.

It was not til years later…I began really questioning my faith. This has happened because of so many situations, so many turns in my life, so many times when I wondered how “God” played a role in my life. Now…when I walk into “Big Church” at First Baptist in Anderson, SC…I have a hard time praying when everyone else bows their head. So what does this have to do with the Bible, you know that text we so spiritually hold as shield.

So many find peace in the reading scripture. The text is used in so many ways, but for many…it provides refuge and enlightenment. It is a place that many go to find a closer connection or to depend on when trying to make a decision. How many times have you heard people say, “well the Bible says this” or “in this Chapter, Jesus said this.” But how do we know the Bible says one thing or the next. How many  times has the Bible been translated from language to language. And what about the Roman Catholic Church who was not happy when they started printing exerts of the Bible.

We put so much “faith” that this ancient text is as it says it is…and is translated as it is translated. How about religious legalism where many denominations or sects of Christianity take the Bible word for word as an apples to apples application to our lives. It is not my place to question others’ belief systems but it is more my point to explore why have found a path that makes sense for me.

To me…the Bible is a barometer…a guide. It is not a document that I see that I must interpret to do specifically as it says…or I would be sacrificing lambs. But here is the real interesting part of this scenario…for years, I have questioned the validity of many parts of the Bible. I have wondered why certain books were excluded. I have wondered why people take the Bible as a word for word interpretation.  I have also wondered…how can we as Christians standup and say that any other faith or belief system is not as valid as Christianity. Who are we to pass that judgement. We have no clue…because we are mortal.

Have you ever scene the movie “Knowing” with Nicolas Cage, I believe it is Hollywoods attempt to articulate “The Rapture.” At the end of that movie, Sarah and I walked out and it had me thinking…what if we as a human race, here on this Earth, are a part on a cycle. What if this is the 2nd, 3rd, 4th, and maybe 50th iteration of the human race. What if the many times I have experienced deja vue…it was my soul experiencing life as it happened the last iteration. Or maybe deja vue is a prediction of what is to come?

A have a close friend where we sit and chat about God’s picture-in-picture room. It is like master control of a television station, thousands of televisions watching life as it happens. What if “God” is switching back and forth between our human race and the one that is happening in parallel. I just know that “God” is bigger than my brain can fathom…so I think anything is possible. That is why I think the “Bible” is only a small piece of this huge puzzle, written thousands of years ago for time then…but what about now. How can mortal men fully comprehend the  vastness and have the complete language to articulate this faith we so religiously follow. We are…as Dave wrote…Ants Marching.

If the Bible is the only way…the word of God, then does it apply today even though it was written thousands of years ago. Well, yes…but what about this missing chapters. How do we know the rapture has not already happened and how do we know that Jesus is actually Jesus. So much of this text is based on the writings of certain men…all based on translation of men from text to text. So many versions of the Bible, so many perspectives, and so many other religions across our Earth that could be just as valid.

So, when you have a spiritual connection…is it because of the Bible? Really…is it because of the Bible or is it because of spiritual connection built into your soul. Who do you pray to and is your God the same as the God many buddhists pray to daily? Do we share many of the same human tenants numerous religions share? And why not work of art as a way to look at faith.

Have you been to the Sistine Chapel? Have you been to St. Peters? Have you been to Notre Dame? Have you been to Jerusalem? Have you been to Egypt? Have you seen much of the great artwork produced hundreds, if not thousands of years ago that tell the story of faith? These pieces have not changed…but we know the Bible has been re-written, translated, and handed down from generations to generations.

Here is the part that really hurts and raises the hairs up on my back. It is when I visit churches, large and small, and their pastors, ministers, leaders use Biblical text as legalistic do’s and don’ts. You know…do not cut your hair, do not dance, do not go to that other church, only we will go to heaven, etc. They position themselves as “Gods” in front of their congregations putting themselves on a pedestal for us to worship…mixing financial gain with spiritual leadership. It is hard to listen when they chastise other religious organizations, claiming they are the only way to the “promised land.” Where is this promised land and how do we know it exists? Have you been there? Is it is a place of a promise because you are so scared of death?

So back to that Bible idea again. Why is this text so important? Why can it not just be a guide…a foundation to build upon. Was it really intended for us to “religiously” worship this text or find connectedness to our own personal savior. Why does the text have to be the Big “T” Truth…why not lean more on our inner most soul.


A defining moment as a young storyteller…

Have you sat back and thought about what has truly defined you both personally and professionally? Can you think about one point in time that has truly changed who you are and how you approach life and your career? There is not a better time to do so than at the end of calendar year…a time of reflection.

I remember back when I was embarking on my career. My first job was a video-tape editor at WSPA-TV in Spartanburg, SC. The news director at the time was a gentleman by the name of Ken Elmore. He gave me my first job right out of Clemson. I remember it was not long that I was able to begin working with the photojournalism staff and began finding my passion…learning how to tell stories. As the next two years progressed, I began working on some great projects, traveling across the southeast, and learning from some amazing people.

It was 1999 and I was working in the Greenville, SC Bureau for WSPA-TV. Things were great and I was producing some great work. I was starting to make a name for myself…until one-day I received a phone call from my direct supervisor. He asked me not to drive anywhere in my company issued SUV. You see…as a college student, I accumulated a lot of speeding tickets. I was always driving to Macon, Georgia to see the girl I was dating and those country cops like pulling over speed demons like myself. It was not hard to miss a little red BMW.

The corporate office at WSPA-TV looked over my driving record when I was promoted to Photojournalist and issued a company car. Well, the premium was going to be too expensive for the organization to carry insurance on me and my driving was considered a liability. I was so upset…it had been over two years since I had a speeding ticket. Yet, I was going to have to give-up that job because it required me to drive as a news gatherer. This was a wake-up call…HUGE WAKE-UP CALL.

Ken Elmore had to re-assign me unti they could figure out what to do with my position in the newsroom. Up to this point, I had accumulated some contacts around the country and won some awards. Right when this all of this was unfolding, I received two phone calls from two stations wondering if I would consider working in a different part of the US: Tampa, Florida for WFLA-TV and Phoenix, Arizona with KPNX. I told them both about my driving record and their insurance situation would allow me to work as a photojournalist. Well, WFLA-TV was ok with my driving record, but KPNX-TV’s HR department was a little more skittish. Chuck Emert and Jim Manley thought I had great potential, so they called their competition at KPHO-TV (Marty Boardman) because they had a photojournalist position available as well. I was on a plane to Phoenix to interview for a job…my passion was telling stories.

Ken Elmore came to me and asked if I would take an Assignment Manager job, this position helped plan and delegate coverage of news stories for the newsroom. I was relieved that Ken was trying to find a place for me. I always wondered if he had pressure to terminate me because of my driving record. Ken is a good man and he was committed to me as a person and employee. I was torn between a management track job and a job out west to follow my passion. I sat down and talk it over with Ken and he told me to follow my passion…and off to Phoenix I went.

Why was this a defining moment for me professionally? This was the point in my young career when I defined which path I was going to take, to follow my passion or to follow what might seem the most logical thing to do. Ken Elmore and Rich Johnston (my direct manager) helped me with this decision. I went to work with one of the best broadcast television photojournalism staffs in the country. I made some great lifetime friendships. And this move to Phoenix defined me as a person and as a storyteller. Those pesky speeding tickets helped me see and define my true path and career. BTW…I have not had a ticket in YEARS! Big thanks to Ken Elmore and Rich Johnston for being such inspirational leaders in my young career.


That “Someday” is today…

There is nothing more wonderful than watching your wife, your spouse, your partner in life grow into the one thing that defines her…being a mother! It is hard to connect the dots with this picture, but what you see is what is left after Sarah’s haircut. Now, I have not see the final result…but I am sure she is excited. She sent me this via text this morning. For so long we have been trying to have a little one run around the house…so long. This past January was a dream come true. Over the first trimester, we were so nervous…scared to tell anyone. This is the first time we have made it past the first trimester.

Rose Frances was born on September 6th and Sarah became a mom. It was like she became the one thing that has defined her as a woman. When we met in graduate school…I thought she was going to be a career woman, an independent woman who would always stand on just her two feet.  When we were married, we moved to Charlotte and she found her place professionally, quickly jumping through the ranks.

When her mother died in September 2007…life changed. Not only for Sarah but for our household. She began to realize that life was more than the corporate ladder…that corporate ladder was not the thing that “made her” an educated, independent, self-reliant woman. When Rose come into the world…that perfect job came a knocking and this stay at home mother found her place.

I am on the road a lot…client work can take you all over and any time of the day, week, month, or year. As I am finding the balance, she has become the oak of our home. She is the level force that keeps us glued together. Her stability has transcended not only our family but the immediate families that surround us. She keeps me grounded and lets me know when it is time to put the work away and focus on the family. She also gives me the latitude to chase my dreams and find new and exciting ways to provide for our family as some term “entrepreneurship.”

So what does cutting hair have to do with this little story? This is the first time she has had her hair cut since Rose has been born. She has always had long hair, so I am guessing by the large pile on the floor that this haircut is going to be short. You see, she texted me this picture this morning…and I started to think…she is in a perfect place. Women are funny and haircuts for women are not the same when men get haircuts. I go for the therapy and the need to be carefully groomed for my professional appearance. I have found that Sarah get’s her haircut as a sign of confidence.

Sarah’s road to this point has been long, especially after her mother passed away. I think she has now found the way to become the mother her mother trained her to become. I think of the book by Alison McGhee called “Someday.” This is what Alison writes on her website about the book:

What every mother (every parent!) wishes for her child is a chance to live life at its fullest–to experience great joys, to stretch, to grow, to understand sorrow, to have a future…to have a someday.

I have to agree…happy chopping!


Where is our Lady Liberty? The huddled masses…

I was on Twitter for a few minutes Satruday evening during the GOP Debate, and noticed this Tweet come across the timeline.

I have to say I was disturbed. Extremely disturbed by the tone and complete disregard for humanity. I would say this was a somewhat militant tone.

I think it is also fair to note Todd’s bio as he states on his website:

“Todd has served as General Counsel and Executive Director of the South Carolina Republican Party and has represented campaigns and other political groups at all levels.”

Now, I am not arguing that his intent and underlying message is unfounded. I am thinking his thesis is that undocumented individuals that live here in America should go back to their nation of origin. I see the value in strengthening our process to become documented in America, providing process for those seeking citizenship.

This exchange made me think of the poem that resides on the Statue of Liberty:

Not like the brazen giant of Greek fame,With conquering limbs astride from land to land; here at our sea-washed, sunset gates shall standA mighty woman with a torch, whose flameIs the imprisoned lightning, and her name Mother of Exiles. From her beacon-hand glows world-wide welcome; her mild eyes command the air-bridged harbor that twin cities frame.”Keep, ancient lands, your storied pomp!” cries she with silent lips. “Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free, the wretched refuse of your teeming shore. Send these, the homeless, tempest-tossed to me, I lift my lamp beside the golden door!”

This poem entitled “New Colussus,” was written by Emma Lazarus in 1883 and placed on the pedestal of the Statue of Liberty in 1903.

This poem makes me think of the one of the many stories I captured while crossing the Mexico/Arizona border in 2006. I originally wrote a post on my business blog called “Crossing the border into entrepreneurship” about this very issue.

I am not sure if Todd has spent time on the border. I know my time has made me see this issue through a new lens. I was able to walk side-by-side with individuals as they crossed into this great American land. I was able to listed to their struggles and see the great promise of a better life. These people were willing to risk it all, including serious injury to come to this land, to provide for their families, and find a better life. I do believe they must find a way to take part in our American way as citizens.

Why must we be so militant, so angry about something we do not understand. Are we so far removed from a time when America was becoming America and so many of our ancestors were coming in search of a better life. I believe we must all pay taxes, we must create a better America…but should we marginalize a group of individuals with elitest tone that represents the miltant nature that probably made these people flee to this America?

Below is the complete conversation on Twitter between me and Todd Kincannon. I would love to talk with him in person rather than 140 characters of out of context conversation. I am open to Todd commenting here, as long as we have a conversation that is constructive and exchanges mutual discourse.

I would love to here your thoughts!


Proud…of this moment in time!

I am not sure if you noticed or even watched this past Friday night? The Carrier Classic where UNC & Michigan State Men’s Basketball Team went head to head on an aircraft carrier? Yes…they played on the deck of the USS Carl Vinson.

I was moved by this experience…this one basketball game…this one event in time that took place on Veterans Day. Here we have two teams facing off aboard a vast image of freedom, the deck of the USS Carl Vinson. The same ship that laid Osama Bin Laden to rest…the one person that orchestrated the 9/11 attacks.

This ship had to ready to deploy in less than 48 hours after the event, so a tremendous plan of breaking down the deck had to be in place. This deck was converted into a mini gym with stands, basketball court, full television production, and anything else to put together an internationally televised NCAA basketball game.

This ship, this game brought two teams together to showcase their talents infront of an international audience and America’s Commander in Chief was the emcee. I would have never thought we would see the day when two teams could play on the deck of aircraft carrier, infront of an international audience which was emceed by an african american president…the same ship that buried the man who was an international terrorist.

These pictures speak of the tremendous story of this american fabric.

Pictures from ESPN’s coverage of the Carrier Classic!


Hardy Berry Farms Invasion…more than a Corn Maze

So the Rettew/Haren/Weathers clan invaded Hardy Berry Farms this past Saturday. We were looking for an affordable place to take the whole family in Anderson and boy did we find something fun. For the last few years we had been going to Denver Downs, but since the prices were increasing including charging children full adult prices…we started looking for other options. The biggest attraction at Denver Downs was the big corn maze, but as I drove by each day…I noticed the corn was not growing. It is hard to go through a maze when you can see the maze. So we knew we had to find another place with a tall corn maze.

So…we noticed some billboards advertising Hardy Berry Farms Corn Maze. The attraction was the price of admission, this included a discount if each person brought one can good. Each person received one dollar off for bringing a can good…and children three and under were admitted for free.  We thought we were going for the corn maze, but if you watch the video above…there was SO MUCH MORE than a corn maze. The cost for a family with five adults and three children for the whole day, including admission, lunch for all eight people, and other little items cost no more than $84.00.

I was impressed with all the activities including the large jumping pillow, the fun pedal cars, the zip lines, the paint ball guns, the animals, the corn maze with 12 foot high stalks, and the big slide. Let’s just say…rave reviews from this family. Hopefully next year they will keep it affordable and not go down the path of commercialization.

To learn more about Hardy Berry Farms…go to http://www.hardyberryfarm.com/